Vargas Quotes

1957
March 1957 - Biography of Alberto Vargas with five pages of Vargas Girls.
1960
September 1960 - First Vargas Girl in Playboy. Page 100 - "Just as this invisible shield protects me."
October 1960 - Page 61 - "Then the patient in room 12 turned around and wanted to give me an alcohol rub."
November 1960 - Page 96 - "It's your wife. Shall I ask her not to bother you during business hours?"
December 1960 - Page 102 - "Please stop staring. When I blush, I blush all over."
1961
January 1961 - Page 88 - "Happy New Year! Which Resolution shall we break first?"
Feb 1961 - NONE
March 1961 - Page 96 - "It's one of those television surveys darling. They want to know what show you're watching."
April 1961 - Page 106 - "You rang sir?"
May 1961 - Page 94 - "This must have set him back quite a bundle. Now I'm wondering what it's going cost me."
June 1961 - Page 94 - "I never heard of a come as you are party for two. But it sounds like fun."
July 1961 - Page 86 - "No I'm not the farmers daughter. I'm the traveling salesman's daughter."
August 1961 - Page 90 - "Operator? Give me a wrong number."
September 1961 - Page 112 - "He told me we could do whatever I wanted to do until midnight, if I would promise to do whatever he wanted to do the rest of the night."
Oct 1961 - NONE
November 1961 - Page 124 - " You surprised me dear, I thought it was the milkman."
December 1961 - Page 132 - "Room service? I'd like to see someone about my bill."
1962
January 1962 - page 84 - "The dinner and the drinks made me awfully sleepy Darling... have you any suggestions for waking me up?"
February 1962 - page 96 - "He really shouldn't have... but then I shouldn't have either."
March 1962 - page 96 - "My husband is on his way up, Darling. Do you know how to sell Fuller Brushes or something?"
April 1962 - page 98 - "Excuse me while I do my diary Mr. Barkus...or will there be something else to write about?"
May 1962 - page 98 - "My psychiatrist says I have a serious emotional problem. Darling, what's a nymphomaniac?"
June 1962 - page 104 - " And then he said Niagara Falls is an extremely important source of Hydroelectric power and that it consists of two cataracts, Horseshoe Fall, which is 160 feet high and 2600 feet across, and the American fall , which is 167 feet high and 1000 feet across- and they are seperated by goat island, and over 212,000 cubic feet of water pass over the falls every second, and then... I left for Reno."
July 1962 - page 84 - " They tell me this nightie is a mixture of nylon, dacron, orlon, and come on."
August 1962 - page 90 - "And what's so bad about leading a dogs life?"
September 1962 - page 132 - "Now darling, Please don't peek until I finish dressing."
October 1962 - page138 - "It's certainly nice of you to continue making these house calls, doctor---after all, I haven't had any symptoms to speak of in over a month."
November 1962 - page 126 - "Thats funny - The bottoms are too large for me and the top is too small."
December 1962 - pages 108-109 - "Or do you like it better as a one piece, Darling?"
1963
January 1963 - page 134 - "And I hereby resolve to be a good girl this coming year starting the first thing tomorrow morning."
February 1963 - page 102 - "Well I guess we've diproved that silly saying, Doctor."
March 1963 - page 114 - "I'm hurt darling - You haven't even noticed the new cuff you gave me."
April 1963 - page 122 - " Darling, It's my hat I want your opinion on."
May 1963 - page 126 - " I'm a little tired this evening - Mind if I don't play hard to get?"
June 1963 - - NONE
July 1963 - page 104 - "He loves it, He loves it not, He loves it."
August 1963 - page 100 - "They told me the ratio of men to women was nine to one on these cruises, but what am I supposed to do the rest of the time?"
September 1963 - pages 114-115 - "Well Mr. Yourkin, Thats the last time I'm going to ask you to pin on my corsage."
October 1963 - page 152 - "Trick or treat, Mr Malcolm?"
November 1963 - page 138 - "Everytime I meet someone I really like, either he's married or I am."
December1963 - pages 167-168 Fold Out - " But aren't you the gentleman who asked Santa for the lifesized doll?"
1964
January 1964 - The Varga Girls Circa 1920, pages 133 to 141 - A collection of his work including Ruth Fallows-1925; Blue Chair-1920; Anna Mae Clift-1920; Shirley Vernon -1927; Composite-1925; Fleurs Du Mal-1920; Helen Henderson-1926; Marie Prevost-1921; Gladys Loftus-1923; and Olive Thomas-1920.
February 1964 - Page 122 - "If there's anything I love as much as wearing toreador pants, it's hearing them."
March 1964 - Page 118 - "Mr Farnsworth, You must have been born in March - You come in like a lion and go out like a lamb."
April 1964 - Page 122 - "Do you think this cigar makes me look too masculine darling?"
May 1964 - Page 118 - "Now both you and my hairdresser know for sure, Mr. Brighton."
June 1964 - Page 122 - " Mirror, mirror , in my hand. This coat was priced at fourteen grand. What I paid could be shown clearer. If I but had a full length mirror."
July 1964 - Page 102 - "You're really forgetful darling, That's the third time this afternoon you've covered me with sun tan lotion."
August 1964 - Page 102 - "You know captain, before you invited me on this cruise I had no idea what the first mate was supposed to do."
September 1964 - NONE
October 1964 - Page 143 - "This ought to attract some attention when I put it in the window."
November 1964 - Page 134 - "I'm so sorry you misunderstood me , Mr. Danforth. I said I was inscrutable."
December 1964 - Pages140-141 - "Well you know what they say Mr. Dinkler. If we don't go to bed , Santa will never arrive."
1965
January 1965 - Page 135-136 Fold Out - "I just can't understand why I keep having trouble with the same New Year's resolution every January."
February 1965 - Page 118 - "How thoughtful of him - an engraved proposition."
March 1965 - Cover and Pages 98-99 - "Mother was so pleased when she learned Mr. Hefner would only be using my face on the cover of Playboy."
April 1965 - Page 122 - "Can anyone beat my pair?"
May 1965 - Page 130 - "As long as your up, darling, get me my pants."
June 1965 - Page 146 - "I'd love to Mr. Baker, but you'll have to promise not to give the bride away."
July 1965 - Page 110 - "Well, You've finally convinced me, Mr. Wyngate. I'm ready to throw in the towel."
August 1965 - Page112 - "I really do appreciate the new negligee, darling, but I know that sooner or later you'll just try to talk me out of it."
September 1965 - Page 162 - " The only trouble with a lounging outfit like this is that I hardly ever get a chance to lounge in it."
October 1965 - Page 146 - "Yes Madam, I'm sure he's in the bath."
November 1965 - NONE
December 1965 - Pages 132-133 - "I'm getting tired of making passes. I think it's time for the moment of truth."
1966
January 1966 - Page 159, Fold Out - "He only needed one shot for the leopard, but it took most of a fifth to get me."
February 1966 - Page 124 - "I never go out with married men. So won't you please come in?"
March 1966 - Page 116 - "My agent says I can become a star if I let the right people handle me."
April 1966 - Page 140 - "Sending a dozen roses was my boyfriend's idea, but delivering them one at a time was the florists."
May 1966 - Pages 132-133 - "I must admit that some undercover assignments are more interesting than others."
June 1966 - Page 125 - "Ever since we started practicing for the honeymoon, you have'nt mentioned anything more about getting married."
July 1966 - Pages 72-73 (Batgirl) - "How do you like my dynamic duo?"
August 1966 - NONE
September 1966 - Pages 134-135 - "He tried everything - flowers, jewerly, candy, furs - and they all worked."
October 1966 - Page 145 - "They're watchdogs, Mr. Tate, but I usually don't let them."
November 1966 - Page 154 - "Well my boss said if I did'nt like working under him I should look for another position."
December 1966 - Pages 216-217 - "You'll need more than one shot to bag me, Mr. Thompson."
1967
January 1967 - Page 177 Fold Out - "The gang's going on a picnic this afternoon and I'm supposed to bring the goodies."
February 1967 - Page 126 - "Post time, Darling"
March 1967 - Page 122 - " It's very simple, darling. The Bloody Mary's ready in case you're hung over, and I'm ready in case your not."
April 1967 - Pages 94-95 - "Who says the new generation is in terrible shape?"
May 1967 - Page 130 - "I just can't understand why I've had so few gentlemen callers lately."
June 1967 - NONE
July 1967 - Page 116 - "I have very little will power, Mr Hanson, and even less won't power."
August 1967 - Pages 78-79 - "I'm sorry I'm late. Did I hold up the game?"
September 1967 - Page 158 - "Double or nothing."
October 1967 - Pages 96-97 - "Trick or treat?"
November 1967 - Page 146 - "And that, Mr. Bigelow, is yet another definition of black power."
December 1967 - Pages 178-179 - "This year I've decided to give something that will eliminate all that tiresome shopping."
1968
January 1968 - The Vargas Girl from the 30's to the present. Page 145 to fold out on page 151 - "I'm not afraid of getting burned. Are you?"
February 1968 - Pages 108-109 - "I asked my hairdresser to make me look like Twiggy, but he put the part on the wrong side."
March 1968 - Page 120 - "I must have had a good time at the party last night. Three fellows have called up to apologize so far this morning."
April 1968 - Pages 132-133 - "Well, if you're afraid you'll hate yourself in the morning, Mr. Thornton, we can always sleep till noon."
May 1968 - Page 140, - "I don't mind if a man loves me and leaves me - as long as he leaves me enough."
June 1968 - Page 136 - "When you advertised for a girl Friday, Mr. Baxter, I didn't realize that included Saturday and Sunday."
July 1968 - Page 128 - "Doesn't this look like a nice spot for a picnic, Mr. Morton?"
August 1968 - Pages 92-93 - "Now do you think blondes have more fun, Mr. Edwards?"
September 1968 - Pages 116-117 - "The only way to tell if they're real is to bite them, Mr. Hancock."
October 1968 - Page 150 - "I don't smoke or drink, Mr Walker, and two out of three isn't bad."
November 1968 - Page 148 - "Now isn't that better exercise than jogging, Mr. Baxter?"
December 1968 - Pages 142-143 - "You might as well stay Santa. You'll never get up the chimney in that condition."
1969
January 1969 - Page 147, Fold Out - "You've certainly proved the old adage, Mr. Bascomb - Nice guys do finish last."
February 1969 - Pages 98-99 - "I certainly enjoyed the Valentine Ball, Mr. Prentiss, and the dance was fun too."
March 1969 - Page 140 - "And what sort of peace did you have in mind, Mr Smith?"
April 1969 - Pages 124-125 - "Mr. Wilson, I think you've discovered a delightful way to bridge the generation gap."
May 1969 - Page 158 - " What I asked you was how you liked my asp, silly."
June 1969 - Pages 120-121 - "There's nothing wrong with premarital sex, as long as it doesn't hold up the ceremony."
July 1969 - Pages 118-119 - "No Darling. I don't want to overexpose myself the first day."
August 1969 - Page 144 - "I got my mink the same way minks do."
September 1969 - Pages 170-171 - "Now I'll show you what I mean by a garden party."
October 1969 - Pages 124-125 - "When I heard you were a two-timer, I had no idea..."
November 1969 - Page 182 - "I'm told sex isn't good for one. But it's great for two."
December 1969 - Pages 160-161 - " And when I realized there were no shopping days left before Christmas."
1970
January 1970 - Vargas Revisited, Page 195 to Fold Out on 201 - "Is this what they mean by having a formal affair?"
February 1970 - Pages 130-131 - "Oh yes, big round ones are really in right now."
March 1970 - Pages 128-129 - "I've always heard it was bad luck to open an umbrella indoors. But nobody ever said anything about a raincoat."
April 1970 - Page 152 - "Sure I'm for the feminist movement. In fact I'm pretty good at it."
May 1970 - Page 158, - "Well, I'm not in favor of immediate withdrawal in every case."
JUNE - NONE
July 1970 - Pages 112-113 - "At this fourth of July picnic, I'm providing the fireworks."
August 1970 - Page 136 - " You make your peace sign, I'll make mine."
September 1970 - Pages 132-133 - "I believe in black pride, but there are some things I'd rather take lying down."
October 1970 - Page 168 - "I don't like being treated as an object, but I don't mind being treated as an objective."
November 1970 - Page 170 - "You've heard of body language? Well, I'm a very outspoken person."
December 1970 - Pages 148-149 - "Don't worry, Mr. Baxter, I've got another gift you won't be able to exchange."
1971
January 1971 - Page 189 Fold Out - "That's what I call starting off the new year with a bang."
February 1971 - Pages 130-131 - "I really don't think it matters what length you wear, it's how you wear it."
March 1971 - Pages 128-129 - "So that's what right on means."
April 1971 - Page 162 - "Of course, there are certain kinds of inflation that I don't mind at all."
May 1971 - Page 162 - "Male supremacy is all right, but I favor a different position."
June 1971 - Page 166 - "Darling, how about supplying a little shade?"
July 1971 - Page 140 - "Since I've been wearing copper bracelets, I feel much better, don't you think so, Mr. Hawkins?"
August 1971 - Pages 96-96 - "Since I've read J and you've read M, Why don't we compare notes?"
September 1971 - Pages 128-129 - "When I say you're bad, baby, that's good."
October 1971 - Pages 156-157 - "Now that's the kind of group therapy I really like."
November 1971 - Pages 156-157 - " Darling, after a performance like that, you deserve a curtain call."
December 1971 - Pages 184-185, - " Don't be silly - it's a money belt."
1972
January 1972 - Page 169, Fold Out - " Sorry, but I already gave at the office."
February 1972 - Page 148 - "Now, lets try phase two."
March 1972 - Pages 92-93 - "Try it , you'll like it."
April 1972 - Page 160 - "Now that's what I call herr-raising."
May 1972 - Pages 148-149 - "And here's what I've been saving for a rainy day."
June 1972 - Pages 144-145 - "Now, Darling, it's time for you to do your exercise."
July 1972 - Page 90, 1/4 page image in pictorial of ladies underwear. Pages 126-127 - "Well, that was certainly an interesting variation on mouth to mouth resuscitation."
August 1972 - Pages 92-93 , - "Well, doctor, aren't you glad that one of us still makes house calls?"
September 1972 - Pages 108-109 - "Why, Mr. Travis, you know it's not polite to point."
November 1972 - Pages 120-121 - " I told him my heart wasn't in it, but he settled for the rest."
OCTOBER - NONE
December 1972 - Pages 192-193 - "You can think of me as the Spirit of Christmas yet to come."
1972
January 1973 - Pages 152-153 - "There's one thing I hate about sex; thank goodness I can't remember what it is."
February 1973 - Pages 94-95 - "Why, Count, I thought you only bit people on the neck."
March 1973 - Page 144 - "Actually, I don't think most of it is rushing to my head."
April 1973 - Pages 108-109 - "So you're from the bureau of Indian Affairs."
May 1973 - Pages 108-109 - "You're right, Mr. Williams, it looks just like Italy."
June 1973 - Page 160 - "It's obvious you're ready for a Great Leap Forward."
July 1973 - Page 144 - "Is forecourt anything like foreplay, Darling?"
AUGUST - NONE
September 1973 - Page 169 - "I'm sorry, Mr. forest ranger, but your sign said no hunting, fishing, bathing, cooking, picnicking or ball playing. So there seemed only one thing left to do."
October 1973 - Page 154 - "I guess I'm just a Fall girl."
NOVEMBER - NONE
December 1973 - Pages 196-197 - "That was what I call my hat trick, Darling."
1974
January 1974 - Page 200 - Small image that appeared previously in September 1960 - Page 165 - "I've been asked to a New Year's Eve party that's come as you are."
Febuary - NONE
March 1974 - Page 140 - "As long as your up. It's a pity to waste it."
April 1974 - Page 156 - "Lord Crumley says he has an excellent position for me."
May 1974 - Pages 106-107 - "The amazing thing about it is that one size fits all."
June 1974 - Pages 130-131 - "Streaking. Flashing. Why is everyone in such a hurry?"
July 1974 - Page 140 - "They say you can tell if they're real by biting them."
AUGUST - NONE
September 1974 - Page 156 - "The trouble was I was hot and he was in heat."
October 1974 - Page 148, - "There's nothing like this exercise for developing the thighs, well, almost nothing."
November 1974 - Page 156 - "It's amazing, before I put on my glasses, everything looked soft."
December 1974 -Pages 198-199 - "Now, that's the way to play leapfrog."
1975
January 1975 - Pages 164-165 - "Sex is OK in its place, and your place, and my place."
February 1975 - Page 134 - "So that's what you meant when you said you had your own little sheikdom."
March 1975 - Page 136 - "And you say it's called hot dogging?"
APRIL - NONE
May 1975 - Page 144 - "And a pinch to grow on."
JUNE - NONE
July 1975 - Page 134 - "Golly, Mr. Hancock, yours is the biggest of them all."
August 1975 - Page 130 - "I never met a man's I didn't like."
September 1975 - Page 155 - 1/4 page pinup from the WW II years.
OCTOBER - NONE
November 1975 - Page 146 - "One good joint deserves another."
DECEMBER - NONE
1976
January 1976 - Page 164 - "Let's get something straight between us."
February 1976 - Page 126 - "Well, you didn't pin me, but you certainly piled up a lot of riding time."
MARCH - NONE
April 1976 - Page 140 - "My, but you do rise to the occasion."
MAY - NONE
JUNE - NONE
JULY - NONE
August 1976- Page 126 - "I could describe it better if my arms were longer."
SEPTEMBER - NONE
October 1976 - Page 144 - "Cat got your tongue?"
NOVEMBER - NONE
December 1976 - Page 192 - "You can afford to go ho, ho, ho. Yours is a pillow."
1977
January 1977 - Page 166 - "I see you're ready for my next trick."
1978
February 1978 - Page 142 - "It's a survey, Darling. They want to know what you're watching." - January 1987 2 page illustrations of previously published work.
December 1978 - Pages 175-183 - Viva Vargas - Early portraits of Imogene Wilson; Anna Mae Clift (fold out); Dragonfly, circa 1926; and other early works.
1979
January 1979 - Page 266 - 1/4 page of a previously published print.
1980
April 1980 - Page 129 - Photo of Alberto Vargas and Leroy Neiman
1984
February 1984 - Page 67 - Article on Playboy covers includes the only Vargas cover - March 1965
July 1984 - Page 103 - 1/2 page illustration for telephone advertisment, "Go ahead, Mr. Smith, reach out and touch something."
1986
November 1986 - 2 page illustrations that appeared previously.
1987
January 1987 - 2 page illustrations that appeared previously.
1989
January 1989 - 2 page illustrations that appeared previously.
September 1989 - 1/4 page image that appeared in January 1968.
1994
January 1994 - Pages 124-129 - Vargas Remembered by John Updike.